Azalea clusterLord -- I am undisciplined
-- To a point. Not totally. --
With God: all things are possible.
If you called me into this direction, as long as I lean on you, I can do it.
I suppose I can use Saturdays to catch up..
Of course -- this only leaves about three hours a day to write...
-- Let Me take care of that. --
But You said to give You first four hours of my day.
-- And you aren't? –
Well, I sure haven't been.
-- No, you haven't. But you are working in that direction. This time in a better way. It is not My will for you to always work exhausted. Yes sometimes that will happen, even have to happen, but not as a habit. If you live that way habitually, what resources will you call on when I call you to a more pressed time?
It isn't all spiritual, you know. I have built emergency resources into the body.
They are for emergencies. Not daily living.
As you already know, you have some long running, deeply entrenched, bad habits of time management. Your natural tendencies run amok with the lack of externally imposed time frames. And yes, there is some compulsiveness that plays into it. Plus you never had anyone to teach you how to do this. But I will teach you.
I will lead you. This is what you want, and what I want. Live and move in tandem. You'll learn to lean on me as much as any missionary, for that is what you are.
And no. That does not mean run and open your e-mail right now. After 3 PM. That is when you can look at. I will help you. You are helping people. That will grow, but first I have to get you to the point of handling the assignments I've already given you.
It isn't just "write." Remember I told you to practice. I've been telling you. I let you see how you will struggle without it. Yes, I blessed those times anyway. But they can be/will be more.
The rest will come. Sooner than you think.
And rest is important for the rest of it, too.
It is useless to continually flog a tired body. The mind just will not follow along. Cannot flog a brain into action. That would turn into a mushy pulp, wouldn't it? --
Ugh. That's a nasty picture.
-- Yes – and nasty what you do to your brain when you try to function like this. Hope is right about the growth hormone and regeneration. I don't want you relying on your medication just to stay awake. --
Oh no -- it is 11 o'clock. The hour is up.
-- Yes. And your coach is about to turn into a pumpkin...
Silly girl. I'm not going to leave you.
And you don't owe Me "bible reading time," either. That will come again.
First things first... --
That's a big lesson...
-- Part of it. A big part. Wrapped into it is saying no to yourself. No one likes to do that. I didn't like to do it, either! It is hard.
But it gets easier with practice.
Habits. Let's work on establishing new habits. This month. Keep working towards it.
Yes, I will give you the determination to see it through. --
Hmmm... wonder which fruit of the Spirit...
-- No you don't! Not the time to read, even the Bible.
BTW –
I believe perseverance is the word you are looking for.
And no, don't look it up now.
Look it up tomorrow --